


SKAM [Random Short Stories]

by hiddenrose



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:48:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenrose/pseuds/hiddenrose
Summary: Who is touching the depths of his closed eyes?





	1. Never Be Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by all the videos I like on YouTube. Credit to the original owners of these lovely YouTube videos. I'm just taking out a part of the lyrics that I like from these songs, and I use it for inspiration to come up with something to write. Sorry if my writing is kind of weird. Forgive me. >///<
> 
> I hope you like it. @___@
> 
> *Song: Crywolf - Never Be Like You (Flume Cover)

  
_What I would do to take away this fear of being loved_  
_Allegiance to the pain_  
_Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing ya_  
_He'll never be like you_  
  


_I would give anything to change this fickle-minded heart_  
_That loves fake shiny things_  
_Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing ya_  
_He’ll never be like you_

  
Isak questions why Even is touching the depths of his closed eyes. The way he gazes at the inside of the wavering warmth knowing that it will last momentarily. In a little while, he'll disappear. He doesn't want to let go, but it's frustrating. His brain-damaged self thinks he shouldn't return here. However, his heart goes straight to the snake's seduction. He wishes to conceal the pain and embrace the darkness with open arms. Will he ever reach him? Isak can't get rid of the voice of his troubled heart. If anything, he'd rather have a torn rose to his chest. What can he do? There are things Isak must not do. He hopes Even can fight back from wounding others.

Would there ever be a day when he doesn't let go of him, saying: "It's okay now..."

Even couldn't say anything.

He knows that everything has gone completely wrong. With Even. Sonja. Emma. His friends. Everyone. The constant struggle between drowning in fake pleasure and escaping into his cold arms. Because he can't return to the past. Not anymore. Maybe, he was over-thinking this whole situation. Perhaps...the number of anxiety have been greater than the number of smiles, but Isak wants to stay close by. That's what he can do for him.

No one's here in this silent room. As Isak still remember the two of them together, how can silence become so unbearable?

Has Even noticed the signs? Those fleeting looks...

That look that touched him more deeply than anyone else.

What attracted them to each other?

Even held him in his arms to protect his innocent smile.

Locking away all the good and the bad in his files.

Kissed him to make him feel alive.

His trembling self is confused. How can he simply forget those precious memories?

In front of his sad eyes, their labels were never even created. In there, there is a boy who couldn't hold his breath underwater. Each time he noticed the symbols. Isak takes another short breath.

How could his world fall to ruins? 

Isak couldn't even laugh or cry as he saw Even smiling softly at Sonja.

Their image is deserted and vanishing into thin air.

Was he...the fool?

Why did he have to return?

He wanted to hold him once again. Shout his name until his voice is lost. None of that ever happen. Words were never even exchanged that day. Now, the dream-like fairytale is inside Isak's memories. Although the comforting looks of that time have faded, the complicated swirls and lines in the smoke suffocated him.

Nearby smiling...he is here. So close and yet so far from this transient dream.

Even and Sonja kissed. The kiss that killed his uncertain soul. He has this strong desire to close his eyes a second time and stretch out these arms. Give him everything he is missing. Give him deep and soft, sweet kissing. Touch his skin. His hair. His neck. Notice him.

Waiting for so long has made him messed up.

Because more than anyone else in this world, he should have protected him. In a little while longer, Isak will disappear instead but...he isn't ready to drop it. Not yet. He can't forget the days when he embrace his entire body and put his hands on his cheeks. He won't let go, right?

Don't cry anymore until the sun rises. He might return right here with him.

If Isak can feel something with his fingertips, surely someday, again. He will meet Even and enveloped him.

Surely someday... 


	2. All Us Is All We Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even: "Can't I just stay here with you forever? Can I?"
> 
> *Song: Timecop1983 - Lovers (feat. SEAWAVES)

 

 _Breathe in, breathe out_  
_Your lips so cold_  
_Your street, our house where we begin_  
_We're kids and you're whole_  
_We won't be alone, no one can ever know_  
_Standing you're what I'm falling for_  
_But you'll never put it down_  

_We know, we grow, we fall, we crawl, to change, proclaim, for this, we miss,_  
_to breathe, deceive, from fate to fate, exist, insist, we push, we lust_  
  
_These days, and these nights are all us_  
_All us is all we need_

  
If coffee were a man, he would have a smooth, low resounding, pleasant voice. Flowing over others with poise in its most subtle form. Isak understands that he will meet plenty of people in his life. Someone...who will affect his life in many ways. There are a few experiences when were young that affect a person's life, teaching an individual the gift of living freely. He never would have thought a blessing could be received in someone breaking his walls down. Inch by inch. When he first laid his eyes on Even, he had this bold air and confidence about him that transcend his age. If coffee were a real man, he would definitely be Isak's taste.

Yes, he was like any ordinary adolescent walking in to the school grounds.

In a way, Even would not fully stand out in front of his friends. But he would never blend in with the crowd either. It would take him no time, to capture Isak's delicate heart. Destined to become a part of him. His lips are like passion flowers, full with strong emotions, supported by the passion fruit's thick vines. Would they ever be ready to burst and grace the universe with its aroma?   

He would be the type of guy that could have any girl at a party, if he wanted to. 

A smooth talker. A slow walker. No. A fast walker. An interesting snack partner that will make one's taste buds go numb. 

With a character like that, there would never be a dull conversation. That's for sure. Topics to others that could easily be considered a bore. With him, such an irresistible urge would keep one's attention. Whenever Isak opens his mouth, saying: "You can." It tells them the world is climbing in, hoping that nothing is ever out of place.

One thing's for sure, Even's lips are dark, like blackberries, dipped in dark chocolate just to make them not intensely sweet.

With a slight hint of tart for the aftertaste...it was so addictive beyond words.

Very complex and yet so satisfying. As Isak's mouth eventually opens and worlds full of golden blocks of hurt...bend back the self conscious and release all the things that turn him inside out.  

Sculpt in the inner sense of sexuality.

Isak rediscovers in him what has been avoided and reinstall the program of self-love. Plug in the pride of a thousand Porsche cars, and the humble approach of a tiny fly. They will unbuckle the denim of doubt and throw down the hoodie of discontent.

Reinventing themselves.

 


	3. You Shine No More..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even: "You can't escape your mind."
> 
> *Song: Sigur Rós - untitled #1 (a.k.a. "Vaka")

  
_You sat along the fire...you saw the light, you saw..._  
_You sat along the fire...you're so in love, you're so..._  
_You've suffered long_  
_You're so alone, you're so..._  
_You sigh 'so long'_

_You shine no more...you're not here..._  
_You hear no more, you're not here..._  
_You sigh no more...and you're not here_

 _  
_ Even believes that true happiness can be scary sometimes. When he was a kid, there were a lot of things in life he had long for. But as he got older, he stopped asking for help. He thought that he didn't need much advice or support from anyone. The shadow in his heart continued to lurk deep in the waters. There was a moment in his life when he gave up on himself. Like an alcoholic that tends to drown in their sorrows, Even was scared to ask for assistance. Because of his damn pride, it made him an ugly coward inside. Then one day, he learned to tolerate the state of unhappiness. If he becomes too happy, he gets worried and hides his feelings away. Even knows it makes him selfish and a little timid.

He knows very well that thinking of too much happiness really scares him sometimes. Is it wrong to think that way?

Isak would probably say: "It's dark."

He softly grabbed the innocent body and peered at the face of the angel sleeping next to him. He is so beautiful. Inside of the peaceful silence that Even have never before seen. He had an unpleasant vision of light that incinerated his eyes. So blinding. Even wants to cut his dreams to pieces, so he could show Isak that this world is filled with lies. To tease him...break him...he needed him to understand the pain in his heart.

A time when no one can save the boy who held his breath. He can hear it. That doesn't mean he would do it on purpose to make him want to cry. Everybody goes through a fallen phoenix phase where one feels so helpless. The individual ends up alone.

Standing there, dumbfounded.   

Looking at his face with so much regret.

Isak doesn't want to believe that he chose to leave him.

Even wishes he would wake up and transform into a phoenix. It isn't time to move on, but he wants Isak to live with no regrets. He should feel 'reborn again' from all his doubts and loneliness. Even if he feels sorrow and hopelessness at one point, he should never forget. To give his youthful life to him and say: "Even if love can be painful, I could love him forever..."

He could give him the perfect ending. This will require Isak to regain back the courage he lost due to his carelessness. Nobody is perfect. Just like how this dream won't end.

Isak should hate him...stop him. Ignore him...kill him.

Leave everything behind. Even now at a familiar place, he is secretly looking at him.

He doesn't deserve to give him life of happiness. The figure he saw from behind the scenes looked just like he did then. He pretended and kept on running until today. Isak slipped away from the party overflowing with crowds.

And for once, Even chose not to quickly chase after him. 


	4. Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Song: Troye Sivan - Fools (Cover by GLADES)
> 
> When I wrote 'Sour Cream' in this chapter, I meant the character in Steven Universe. (Idk, why. Don't ask lol!) xD

  
_I am tired of this place, I hope people change_  
_I need time to replace what I gave away_  
_And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small_  
_Though I try to resist I still want it all_

_Oh, our lives don’t collide, I’m aware of this_  
_We've got differences and impulses and your obsession with_  
_The little things you like stick, and I like aerosol_  
_I don’t give a fuck, I'm not giving up, I still want it all_

  
No trains, no airplanes. Everything is still. Isak can only hear the occasional cars passing by him. Is this the calm before the storm? Those lips...he is sure he'll never find other bees making honey with it's distinct sweetness. Honey catches more flies than vinegar with their supple hue. Or he could take in a horizon holding a sundown in the palm of his hands. The golden orbs of his soul was so dazzling that it burns him in the most pained places of his heart. With several hard kisses, the autumn in his heart continues to move forward. Even kisses his lips gently. He runs his hands through his soft hair and lift his chin. Isak went against him and put his head down because he knows that fairy tales aren't real. No prince is coming to save him. Maybe...Even could take him away to heaven for a few hours. With enchanting kisses of death, he can see that his eyes aren't any magic spells. No hypnotism. No love potions. An empty bottle is all that's left. There's no cure to this drug addiction.

There's only real life.

There's only a present universe, and he is on his own.

So take off that cap.

Stop waiting to be saved.

He is no damsel in distress.

It's time to stop pretending.

These days he will learn to live with fear, anxiety, doubt. As of tomorrow he will learn to not hold things in with his temper, tantrums, and losing control. Today he will learn to be all that he is, all that he will be, and be the best that he can be despite certain errors in his life.

Still, Isak found himself longing for those moments when Even would see the beauty inside him.

Little did he know, he always observed him.

Isak believes this could work out. Although Even may or may not understand how much it hurts to look into his intense eyes and not see the love lasting, he prays to be spared from any form of agony. He doesn't ever want to see him crying, but he also doesn't want him to plead his case. Love shouldnt have to be proven. Not to every unimportant person unless one seeks attention. All they really need is faith.

There are times when Even can be such a sour cream. 

An unpredictable fellow, Isak admits. In and out. Then all of a sudden, he is chilling with him at his place. Just like a few weeks ago.

Even is part of the reasons why he welcomed change... 

Some days he feel distraught. Lost in another realm of some sort. Attempting to start a new chapter in their shadow life. It couldn't happen until one of them turned the pages. And just as they start to feel paranoid from their deep thoughts, Isak feels him taking his hand. They found each other. Isak saw what he lost and their universe becomes familiar again. Everything makes sense...for now. His love feels like someone contracting a fatal disease. Harsh words, Isak knows. Will he ever stay...let down his wall...and open up to him? He can show him so much more. They could share many things. But how can they accept love, if they don't even know what love means?

Today...Isak will learn to...

Embrace all that is behind him. Isak immediately kisses him in the mouth of madness, regardless of the advice given to him earlier. Making it known that he still sees the beauty inside those thorns. Doubt doesn't need to make him feel like a dying cancer patient. He can fight and win a battle with or without his existence.

So today he will no longer be concerned about what he is without him. Not anymore.


End file.
